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To my future children

I can’t wait to meet you. I can’t wait to watch you grow and see the people you’ll become. Most of all, I can’t wait to show you the world that God created for His children.

Year after year, your father and I will dread the moment you leave home in search of your independence and personhood. I hope to have instilled in you enough courage to take risks, with tremendous faith that God will be your guide, ally, and friend throughout your journey. I hope to teach you enough discipline to challenge yourself to do your best in everything you do. I hope to show you compassion and empathy to treat others with dignity and respect.

There may be times when you’d stumble. Or times when you may think that I would be mad enough to stop loving you or caring for you. Hear this now:

I will always support you. I will always forgive you. I will always love you.

That my darlings will never falter. Though, that also doesn’t mean that I won’t give you some tough love from time to time.

As I await the time you’d come into my life, please know that you are always in my thoughts and forever in my heart. I vow to slowly but surely blossom into the woman you would be proud to call your mother.

Always,

K (a.k.a your mom)

P.S. Don’t worry, I also vow to not be a helicopter parent. Mistakes and failures are pretty good teachers. Make them often.

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Re: When you live life in gratitude

I was on the elevator on my way home from work when I felt a faint yet warm feeling of relief. Shoulders relaxed with a soft smile on my face, all I can think of was how thankful I am to be able to live the life that I do.

I’m not saying that to boast or to insinuate at all that I’m living life as comfortably as Nick Young’s family in Crazy Rich Asians. In fact, I’m far from that. Nonetheless, I still feel incredibly grateful to have a cozy home, food in the fridge, friends I can lean on and the spare change in my bank account after the rent money has been taken out.

You don’t have to live a perfect or lavish life to feel grateful.

Often we think of life as cruel because of the circumstances that life has dealt us. And absolutely, sometimes we go through a period of complete and utter despair. But the brilliant thing about being human is that even though life happens in all of its cruelties there will always be light when we choose to see it. Every hardship we go through comes with a lesson to learn, and more importantly, an element that makes us even more resilient.

When you live life in gratitude, it’s not about just looking at life through an optimistic lens. It’s seeing life for what it is – with all its messiness, stress, anger, uncertainty – and being okay with it. All of it. And doing so not because of complacency or passivity. But because you, as an individual part of a greater whole, are trying your best to be a better person, son/daughter, parent, friend, professional and so on anyway.

None of this is revolutionary. It’s just something that needs to be put out in the world more often.

Always have a grateful heart.

Always,

K

Re: Heyo!

img_9018It has been well over a month since I last posted a blog post. A lot of changes and transitions, professionally and personally, have happened over a short amount of time that I needed to take some space to distance myself from blogging for a while. Frankly, every week I would plan on writing a blog post on a topic that I’ve chosen weeks or even months ahead but it has been very difficult to sit down and actually write the post. Part of the reason is because there are a lot of thoughts running around in my head, some of which are incomplete and utterly confusing. This evening I decided to sit down and write this post because in retrospect, I created this blog because I wanted to take you all along in my journey. And it’s not a straight path, far from it.

Granted, I still don’t feel like I’m in the same headspace that I was in 6 months ago, but I thought it was important for me to write about forgiveness. Over the weekend, I wondered how could God be so forgiving of our mistakes over and over again? Why is it so hard for us to forgive others at the same degree?

Being human makes us susceptible to failures, imperfections and innumerable mistakes. It is and can be very difficult to forgive those who have wronged us repeatedly and ourselves. Pain, anger, embarrassment, pride and insecurities often take over so much so that we forget that we are all similarly human. We crave the same degree of infinite forgiveness that others seek of us, yet we often decline to show the same kindness. loveThe only answer I can come up with that addresses my question adequately is love. Love at its purest form is patient, kind, humble, and of course forgiving. An elusive verb and feeling.

I guess the trick is to not take love for granted, but strengthen it.

Always,

K

P.S. Always choose forgiveness, even when it’s difficult. Harbouring bad feelings just isn’t worth it. Besides, you can’t change people… you can only love them. 

Re: Free at last!

img_8771After four and a half years of wearing braces, it has been an incredible feeling to let my tongue glide on my freshly polished straight teeth!

Truth be told, I didn’t like my smile growing up because I always fixated on my crooked teeth. They were all I saw whenever I looked at my grade school picture day photos or any photo for that matter. So, I decided to get braces after getting my wisdom teeth out. Our family dentist referred me to Dr. James Noble from Orthodontics at Don Mills.

Before getting a consultation, my dentist forwarded a copy of my recent X-rays so that Dr. Noble had a starting point to assess my case. We sat down for an initial consultation about my teeth, my goals and why I wanted to get braces. Dr. Noble was very honest with me about the commitment and investment that I needed to make, which I really appreciated. He is a passionate orthodontist whom truly loves what he does, and it shows in his work. Dr. Noble works with a diverse age range of patients from young children to adults, so he has extensive experience with different case severities.

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Though, I couldn’t help but feel that I got more than a beautiful new smile. Reflecting on the last 4 ½ years of wearing braces, I learned 5 important life lessons.

  1. Patience

At first glance, four years is a long time to wait for something you’ve always wanted to have. There were times when I grew a bit restless, failing to recognize that there is a much greater reward down the road.

  1. Think of the bigger picture

I went to 64 (more or less) individual appointments for my orthodontist and regular cleaning over the course of my entire treatment. They had to remove 4 teeth before installing the wires and brackets and I can’t even tell you how many elastics I’ve used! If you look at each of these factors individually, getting those pearly white straight teeth seems awfully daunting. But if we just take a step back to look at the bigger picture, all of these sacrifices contribute to an overall goal.

  1. When you’re in pain, speak up!

I happen to have a high pain tolerance so luckily the regular tightening wasn’t a big deal. Actually, I remember happily eating a bacon cheeseburger  right after getting my braces installed! Though there were times when a piece of wire would irritate my inner cheek and a ball of wax wouldn’t be able to ease the irritation. Instead of taking the pain in, a phone call needed to be made. A quick snip and voila! The pain is gone.

It’s easy to sweep our pain under the rug, or even worse, bury it. Speaking up when you’re in pain doesn’t make you a burden. It means something needs to change.

  1. Smile with confidence

Yeah, yeah there’s something on my teeth. A piece of spinach or rice perhaps? It happens. As odd as it may sound, wearing my braces helped me embrace my crooked teeth for what they are-a work in progress. Our imperfections make us who we are. Let’s wear them with pride!

  1. Invest in yourself

My treatment cost a little over $8000. I admit, I spent a pretty penny on something that might seem vain and I am damn proud of it! I made this investment for me because I know the health benefits and confidence boost sufficiently justified the cost. Besides, do you know how amazing it is to wake up and look in the mirror and love who you see staring back at you? I get to feel that, so I’d say it’s worth it.

Smile as wide as you can. You deserve to, we all do.

Happy World Smile Day! 

Big THANK YOU to Dr. Noble and his lovely hygienists at Orthodontics at Don Mills! Your patience, positive attitudes and dedication are greatly appreciated! 🙂

Always,

K