Earlier this year I wrote a letter To my future husband. I admit, it was romantic. The kind of stuff that reminds us of the possibility of love and genuine relationships in a world where partners are as “easy” to replace as a ratty old shoe. You thought I was going to say something about swiping left or right didn’t you? Nah. Dating apps have evolved to customized profiles and gamifying the experience so dating doesn’t seem as daunting or despondent. The thing is, the parts that make it challenging or hopeless are the parts that make it worth it. 

We remember the first date not because it was like a meet cute taken out of a rom-com movie. We remember the dribbles of sweat slowly streaming down the side of his face or the sauce at the corner of her lips while she ate a burger. We cherish the way we know how they like to take their coffee or knowing their go-to order at a fast food chain. We relish recognizing the nuances of their smiles like being privy to the world’s best kept secret – one just to be nice, another during awkward conversations and the real smile that tells us that you actually feel joyful. These are the things that I glazed over in that letter. But these are the things that (in my humble opinion) matter most.

To be seen. And loved. 

To be forgiven. And accepted. 

To unravel. And receive compassion.

Over the years I blogged about ‘my unorthodox philosophies on love’ or love in general. Correction, I blogged about intellectualizing and rationalizing love without allowing myself to fully feel the depth of it because I was afraid of what would happen when I inevitably love someone more than myself. Living in a self-assertive cultural zeitgeist, it feels countercultural doesn’t it? 

I don’t really know how to end this random blog post so I’ll just post this question – If our imperfections make us who we are, why do we look for the ‘one’ perfect person or idealize relationships when things aren’t easy?

Always,

K

P.S. I’m not going to quote 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. It’s hard to resonate with until you truly feel His [God’s] love. Otherwise it may turn into an unachievable standard that we impose into fellow human beings. Who wants that? There’s really only one Being that could love us like that. And what a gracious love it is.