Re: A still mountain no more.

The days leading up to my recent birthday I found myself reminiscing about my high school self. To be quite frank she was much more confident and risk-oriented. She also had a stronger sense of conviction about who she was, what she wants to do and where she’s going. So I wondered, where did SHE go? How did I find myself less confident, more uncertain about my personal identity and what the future may hold? They said that we become wiser with age, but do we really?

I can think of a number of reasons as to why or how I’ve changed over the years but they don’t really matter. At the end of the day, I can see and feel the changes that impacted me like a tidal wave crashing the side of a mountain cliff. Salty waters trying to drip back down into the ocean through my crevices. Gradually they become a part of me. It stings a little.

Then again there’s nothing like water to wear down a mountain and open up a secret to you. You want to know what these waters revealed to me? I can’t tell you. Not because it’s a secret. Not because I’m embarrassed by it. Not even because it’s just too juicy to let it out in the open. I can’t tell you because I’m still riding the wave.

Will you hold my hand and ride beside me?

Always,

K

P.S. See the best part about writing reflections like this is that I don’t know how it will end. It may not sound completely cohesive but for some reason I felt compelled to write some parts of it as a metaphor. We go through changes and sometimes it’s hard to explain how we’ve changed and why. Now, I would be lying if I said that I didn’t miss my high school self and have felt regret that I may be disappointing her. But then it dawned on me that she didn’t know the difference between the questions: what do you want to be and who do you want to become? Right now, my goal is to remember the kind of strength that I once held and garner it. Sometimes we’re a little low on courage, better stock up whenever we can!

P.P.S. If you get the movie reference I would be very impressed! 🙂

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s